Shades of Grey
by 44musicfreak44
Summary: She used to think life was simple, things were either black or white, good or evil. But now, Usagi can't help but feel that her life has turned into a palate of grey. Can a talk with a certain someone persuade her thoughts?


**Summary: **She used to think life was simple, things were either black or white, good or evil. But now, Usagi can't help but feel that her life has turned into a palate of grey. Can a talk with a certain someone persuade her thoughts?

**A/N: **It's been a long time since I wrote any Sailor Moon fan-fiction, but I've been recently reading through some of the amazing stories on here and the old temptation sucked me back in :)

I hope you enjoy!

P.S. This is set a little bit before Venus comes into the picture.

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><p><em><strong>Shades of Grey<strong>_

_By: 44musicfreak44_

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><p>Usagi felt exhausted. Physically and mentally.<p>

Everyone had been on edge lately, they had all been getting strange vibes. Just knowing that The Dark Kingdom, Queen Beryl and what was left of the Generals, were going to attack soon, to try and steal the other Rainbow Crystals. In turn, getting a hold of the Silver Crystal to try and take over Earth.

Rei had been getting strong visions and had prophesied that in the next two to three weeks, a major battle would take place.

Herself, Rei, Ami and Makoto were all doing vigorous training and workouts, almost everyday after school, trying to keep prepared for the Dark Kingdoms attack. They were all making fairly good process, but she felt...stuck. Overwhelmed. _Tired._

To her, it didn't seem that she was making any difference at all.

She was stuck on autopilot, barely recognizing what was happening in her own life. The days blending together, a giant mass of _grey._

Usually the saying was blue, but grey seemed like a more appropriate term.

Her friends were extremely worried about her, but Usagi told them not to be, that it was just nerves of the upcoming battle. She didn't want them to worry about her when there was more important things to take care of. Like defeating the evil that plagued her world in every sense.

She had only been a part of the Senshi for the past six months, but it felt so much longer. She was no longer a careless, normal girl. Sometimes, it was suffocating. But other times, when the Senshi banded together and defeated an enemy, it was elating. Like she could breathe again. But the Youma just kept coming and _coming. _And the previous novelty had wore off, leaving an empty, shell of a girl left behind.

Rei had even asked her what was wrong the other day, for goodness sakes! The fiery priestess had never shown an ounce of concern for her before. Rei had knocked a little bit of sense into her, but Usagi still felt rather grey and depressed, knowing the world was on her shoulders. Knowing the planet would _die_, unless they could defeat the enemy.

She could feel it starting to eat her from the inside out. The constant fading from reality, the heaviness and anxiety from over-analyzing the situation. Not being able to count how many nights she didn't sleep from thinking too much.

So, she had taken extra precautions to make sure the others didn't noticed her down-in-the-dumps behaviour and put on fake, sweet, sugary smiles. Trying to keep the façade going as long as she could, not wanting to be a burden. The others bought her phony attitude, thinking She was back to her usual self. Carefree and taking it easy! Which was _very,_ opposite from the truth.

But Usagi knew, one day, that the feelings would overload her system, and she would finally crack...

Which led to where she was now.

Usagi was at Motoki's arcade, siting on a red stool facing the counter with an unusual cup of coffee placed before her. Her head was in her hands while she slouched, a severely pale face, tousled hair and glazed over eyes.

To any passerby, it was clear the young girl looked tired, but none knew how utterly defeated she actually was.

Usagi and the other Senshi had just finished another training session, testing their powers and trying to see how long they could hold out before stopping. She couldn't really do much with her crescent wand, it was only used to heal people, but her tiara throwing skills weren't that shabby.

But combined with minimal sleep and a nauseousness in her stomach, it was like being totally trashed and having the flu at the same time. Her muscles- No, her whole body ached.

Barely wincing, she shakily took a hold of the coffee mug, glad for its warmth pooling into her hand and took a sip. It was bitter, black and piping hot, burning a trail down her throat.

Normally, she wouldn't touch the stuff, but with the drained and sleepy feelings she had constantly, caffeine was the only thing keeping her going. Sneaking cups at home in the morning while her parents weren't looking and ordering them at the arcade almost every afternoon.

Luckily, Motoki hadn't been working today and his replacement had served her a cup, no questions asked.

Setting the cup down, Usagi let a much needed sigh escape, staring wistfully into space. The invading thoughts trying to push their way into her subconscious, but she pushed them away, closing her eyes and taking a few deep breaths.

Opening them a moment later, she sighed again. Knowing it was futile to even try and avoid them. The thoughts of battle and worry were always on her mind. It was days like these that she wished...wished her life was normal.

Shaking her head, Usagi frowned. She wouldn't want to change being a Senshi, just the whole, 'Earth will be doomed by enemies' part. Then she wouldn't have met the girls, Luna or...Tuxedo Kamen.

The tuxedo clad man hadn't really been on her mind much lately, the thoughts and fear of war with the Dark Kingdom taking up most of her brain.

Sighing repeatedly once again, Usagi slowly ran a hand through her bangs, resting a cool palm against her forehead. Closing her eyes once more, she took a moment to rest. Waiting for the caffeine to work its way through her system.

While Usagi was leaning against the counter, she barely heard the entrance open, a breeze of cool air filtering in with another customer. Snapping her eyes open at the cool air whooshing against her back, she shivered and reached for the abandoned mug, taking another mouthful of the calming liquid.

A call of 'Odango!' shattered her composer and Usagi nearly dropped the coffee mug in surprise. Siting up straighter, she took a shaky breath and turned her gaze towards another man who she hadn't been thinking of for a while.

Chiba Mamoru.

As her schedule consisted of trying to sleep, training, school and anguishing thoughts, Usagi hadn't seen him in a while.

He looked the same, wearing his trademark green jacket and a smug smile. She grimaced on the inside, not wanting to get into a fight with him. A fight would take too much when she was this exhausted. Maybe she should have headed home instead of stopping at the arcade...

Mamoru sauntered over and sat right next to her, a gleam in his eye. Usagi slightly shrank back from him, knowing he was going to start with an all familiar insult.

She raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to say something, just wanting for their conversation to be over. When in reality, it didn't even begin yet.

"Well, your a sight for sore eyes. Literally. You look like a mess Odango."

Usagi could feel the blood pounding in her ears at his statement, and her hand clenched into a fist in protest. Mainly because she knew it was true. But the girl had missed the slight concern in the older teens voice, too biased for her own good. Only pure hatred and annoyance towards him.

But instead of lashing out, she gave him a heated glare and calmly said, "Save your cheap talk for someone who cares."

He had scrunched his eyebrows together at Usagi's words and was going to comment, but she cut him off.

"_Maybe_, you should stop being such a cynical, arrogant jackass for once and consider that there might be more important things to do instead of insult me all the time. _Maybe, _you should stop judging me when you have no sweet _clue,_ what I go through!"

Usagi stopped speaking, shocked at what she had told Mamoru. Hoping he wouldn't dig into what she had said and what _exactly,_ it had meant. The stress was starting to take a tole on her, plus the sleep deprivation, she should have known something like this would happen.

The raven haired man beside her narrowed his eyes and glanced at her mug of coffee, but there was only concern written on his features.

"Are you drinking coffee? Okay, there _has,_ to be something wrong. Oda-, No...Usagi are you...alright?"

Her blue eyes widened at the blatant worry on his face. He was worried. About her. There was certainly something wrong with this picture.

Swallowing a lump that was forming in her throat, Usagi fidgeted uncomfortably in her seat and numbly shook her head, a fake smile forming on her face to try and fool him. She laughed, brushing the notion off, though it was empty and hollow.

"I'm fine. Really! I was just...studying late last night for a math test. As you always say, I could use some smarts knocked into me."

Mamoru slowly nodded, seeming to accept her answer, but his deep eyes were suspicious.

"You're lying, I can tell. The Usagi I know, would never even touch coffee. I mean, you badger me about how much I drink all the time! Plus, you would rather get teeth pulled than study."

The blonde frowned, shocked. Her heart was beating erratically in her chest.

"How did you...never mind. I don't have to explain myself to the likes of you."

Turning back towards the counter, Usagi unclenched a fist and took a hold of the glass in front of her and took a sip. Wondering how he knew she would rather go to the dentist than study. She _hated _going to the dentist. And her family were the only people who knew that...

"Wow. Nice comeback. Did it take you all night to think of that. 'Cause you clearly weren't sleeping."

She visibly flinched at his words, a dab of black liquid sloshing out of the porcelain mug and staining the marble counter below. Mamoru didn't know how true that was.

Her heart was pounding like a drum, she was surprised he couldn't hear it.

"I can tell there's something wrong, it it family? Friends? I haven't seen you with them lately. Or something else?"

Shakily placing the cup back on the counter, Usagi took a deep breath, wanting to escape the man who annoyed her almost on a daily basis. But she knew if she tried to run, he would follow to get answers. Closing her eyes for a moment, she tried to think of a possible response. Pressing her lips together for a second, she opened her eyes and blinked. Wishing the arcade lights weren't so bright.

"Do you ever get that feeling that something bad is going to happen, but your powerless to stop it?"

"All the time."

Usagi swerved her head around towards Mamoru, surprised at how fast and simply he had answered. Her eyebrow was raised, prompting an explanation.

"Well, as I see it, there's horrible things that happen every second, of everyday. People get sick, they can die or get in...in accidents. But I try to see the brighter things in life. It might not show by my personality, but I do."

She could tell he was being honest and upfront with her. Mamoru barely ever showed any kind of emotion other than anger or cockiness that she ever witnessed. But he was completely cool and calm right now, a kind of misery in his eyes.

Usagi wondered why. It was sort of like the misery that had been in hers for the past few weeks now...

He focused his crystal, oceans eyes towards her.

"Why would you ask such a question?"

She could have laughed at the casualness in his voice. This oblivious boy right here, Mamoru, had no idea what was going on. That the world could just end in a second if _she,_ or her friends didn't stop the enemy.

Her face hardened.

"Have you heard about the attacks around Juban? How an evil worse than any serial killer is on the loose, trying to take control of Earth?"

He nodded stiffly, a tinge of anger and regret filling his voice.

"I have seen this evil. I witnessed an attack on a woman a few weeks ago, I tried to help but it was no use, humans can't defeat that kind of sick an twisted monsters. Luckily, the Senshi and Tuxedo Kamen were able to save her."

Usagi frowned, wondering when Mamoru would have been at a scene of a battle. She didn't remember seeing him anytime...As for Tuxedo Kamen, he was becoming more of an enemy than friend lately.

"Usagi...did you get attacked?"

Now that was just plain ridiculous! For the first time in a while, she laughed, missing the fire that was burning in his eyes. He was distressed over the thought that the usually, lively blonde beside him had been attacked by the Youma and he wasn't there to save her.

"No. I haven't been attacked."

He looked confused.

"Then why did you bring the 'evil ones' up?"

She raised an eyebrow.

"'Evil ones'? And I was just...wondering. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be a hero. Saving people and defeating evil, getting all the glory. But it can't be all good, could it? I mean, obviously, something bad is going to go down and soon. I just have this bad feeling something is going to happen and I'm powerless to stop it. Obviously the Senshi and...Tuxedo Kamen are the only ones with enough power to stop them, but it has to come with a price. Don't you think?"

His faced blanched at her tiny speech and she bit a lip, hoping she didn't give up too much information.

Mamoru paused for a moment, considering her words. She could see his Adam's apple bounce up and down as he swallowed. He looked oddly nervous for some reason.

"I supppose you're right Odango. But there's always a price to pay, whether or not its for better or worse. Say you have to steal something, to regain something else, something important. Very important, something that would change your whole life. Sure it would be wrong to steal, but in the end...", he trailed off before continuing.

"It's the same for the Senshi. If they're going to fight this evil and win, then they're going to have to give a little. They don't have time to feel powerless and weak, they have to beat this evil for the sake of every other person alive on Earth. If they don't, then who will?"

Usagi felt like she was hit with a bolt of Sailor Jupiter's lightning. His...Mamoru's words were true. If she didn't at least try and fight, then the whole planet would be doomed! It seemed the saying, 'It feels like I got the whole world on my shoulders' was a good way to explain her stress. But she had to try and fight, for her friends, families, _every bodies_ sake. Even the annoying raven haired teen beside her.

His gaze was on her for the whole duration of her little epiphany, he looked wary. She had been depressed but now it looked as if her world had been shattered, in a good way.

"Uh..Odango?"

Usagi stared at him. Mamoru was the last person on Earth, she would have thought to make her think positively. She just had to believe in herself, in her friends and everything would be okay.

Wordlessly, she slid off her stool and tentatively gave him a hug, wrapping her arms around his neck. Usagi missed the pure shock on his features. Plus the way his cheeks had a certain red tinge to them as the young girl clutched to his frame.

She pulled her arms back quickly, butterflies in her stomach. Continuing to smile, she stood beside him and whispered, "Thank You" before reaching out and downing the rest of the coffee in her mug on the counter.

The coffee might have been cold and slightly grey looking, but the warmth and hope seeping through her veins chased the feeling away. Bouncing on her heels, Usagi was about to race over to the shrine and have a chat with her friends, but not before turning round to the confused boy still siting at the counter.

"And Mamoru. The names Usagi, not Odango." She said rather cheekily.

He was still somewhat confused, but nodded nonetheless and shook his head in a laughing matter at the girls antics.

Usagi ran out the doors and down the street, hoping her friends were willing to talk. Her muscles were still aching and she still felt exhausted, but at least the world seemed a little more optimistic now. No longer grey.

_Her_ world, seemed a little more bright.

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><p><strong>AN: **I had fun writing this, it's been a while and was refreshing.

I hope you guys liked this and please leave a comment if you wish. I really would appreciate it :)


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